Why my dog is so anxious?

Understanding and Addressing Dog Separation Anxiety

Golden retriever yawning with visible signs of anxiety.

If you have a dog who suffers from separation anxiety, you know it can be both heartbreaking and frustrating.

It’s difficult to see your dog stressed when left alone, and it's also challenging when you return home to find your belongings damaged.

Separation anxiety is a common problem, with varying levels of severity.

It’s a complex issue with multiple contributing factors, and there isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution.

At its core, separation anxiety occurs when a dog is unable to regulate their emotions when left alone.

They may struggle to adapt to changes in their environment, particularly when their human isn’t present.

As a result, they rely on external validation to feel calm and secure. This inability to regulate their emotions internally often manifests as destructive behaviour, excessive barking, or even self-harm.

Common Factors and Solutions

Diet, mental stimulation, and desensitisation techniques are commonly discussed by trainers and behaviourists when addressing separation anxiety.

While these methods offer valuable solutions, it’s also important to look at the human-dog relationship and the influence it has on a dog’s behaviour.

Exploring the Human-Dog Connection

An interesting question to consider is: how do you feel about being alone?

Sometimes, our emotions and behaviours can influence our dogs more than we realise.

If you sought companionship when you got your dog, you might find joy in the times when you relax together on the sofa, feeling a sense of connection and calm. Your dog, in turn, mirrors these emotions, thriving in your presence and feeling secure.

Similarly, if your dog follows you around the house, it’s not only their need for companionship; it also reflects the bond and communication you’ve established, providing you with a sense of connection.

However, if we are relying on our dogs to fill an emotional void, they may be picking up on this need. Our dogs provide loyalty, affection, and companionship, which are wonderful traits, but they might not be compatible with being left alone for long periods.

When dogs who are deeply bonded with their humans are left alone, they struggle to fill the void, leading to behaviours like destruction or vocalisation.

A Two-Way Issue: Separation Anxiety in Humans and Dogs

It’s worth asking: who has the separation anxiety to begin with—the dog or the owner?

If we’re projecting our own need for connection and validation onto our dogs, we may be inadvertently contributing to their distress.

When left alone, a dog with a strong emotional connection to their owner may struggle to self-regulate, mirroring the anxiety and unease we might feel ourselves.

Improving Separation Anxiety: A Holistic Approach

To effectively manage and reduce separation anxiety, it’s important to address both the dog's and the owner’s needs.

The goal is not to change the affectionate, social nature of dogs who suffer from this anxiety, but rather to increase their tolerance for being alone.

By focusing on building a dog’s self-confidence and independence, we can reduce their reliance on external validation.

Energy work and mindfulness techniques can complement traditional training and behaviour modification strategies.

By working on increasing a dog's ability to self-soothe and stay calm in their own space, we can achieve long-lasting results.

Combining these methods with practical training solutions ensures a more holistic approach, giving dogs the skills and emotional resilience needed to handle time alone.

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